Diabolik Lovers Review/Rant
Genre: Ass, bullshit, wife beating, dumb heroine
How did I come across this anime again? Oh well whatever let’s just get right to it. Diabolik Lovers is bullshit. This anime is absolutely terrible. I admit this even though I find this anime to be a guilty pleasure of mine. To be honest, the only reason I like this anime is because….hot guys…..and that’s it. I was very surprised to see that this “anime” actually got a second season! Surprised, but not disappointed. So, I’ll keep my inner fangirl out of this.
The story begins with a girl named Yui. Yui’s father has gone overseas, and now she has to go and stay with “relatives.” When Yui arrives at a mansion, you begin to get the slightest feeling that this character’s probably going to be annoying.
Since when it starts raining, she announces, “It’s raining!”
Oh gee willy wee, really? Welp, we got ourselves an absolute genius here folks. Prepare to be gravely disappointed. Sigh… Bitch, just get the hell inside the house so we can start this train wreck.
By the way, as you progress through anime you’ll realize that Yui points out the obvious a lot in this anime. So be aware that she’ll make sure tell you what you already know so many times that your eyes will roll into the back of your head. Then, as she gets to the door, it mysteriously opens by itself! And…. this is where you’ll wish you had ended the anime before it even began. Prepare to be HIGHLY disappointed.
Let’s talk about the characters.
Yui is terribly bland. I mean, she’s so bland she could be a harem girl. Since if she has no personality and is unrelatable, no one will care about her. And I don’t! lmao!
All she is is a doll-like vending machine for the vampires leap head first on. The ONLY thing I like about her is her kindness. Even when the vampires abuse her, she is always kind to them (but y tho?). BUT, there’s being nice, and then there’s being a bitch.
Yui, you’re being a bitch. This isn’t the pacifist route in Undertale hon. At least Frisk knew when it was time to start kicking ass. -.-
There are several games that surround the anime. I’ve seen some of them and, she is the EXACT SAME! This is an adaptation and no changes were made to her personality? The vampires abuse her, she squeals like she’s being penetrated, she faints, scene over.
Now, a lot of people have been complaining that the reason they hate her, is because she doesn’t fight back and is totally weak and defenseless. Well, she most definitely is! But I can justify her reasons for not fighting back, with the fact that they are vampires. They’re stronger than her, can teleport, and have other powers. They said many of times that they can and will kill her if she fought back or ran away.
I want to compare this to real life. Sometimes when a person’s life is in danger, the victim will do what they can to stay alive and not fight back. Humans cannot teleport and don’t have superhuman strength so it would be more understandable if you were to fight in that real life situation than in the vampire situation.
Now I was going to settle for this but… The dumb bitch had a chance to escape tho! More on this in a second.
Yui then sees and meets Ayato. Who of course, harasses her, pulls her down, and proceeds to lick her like a cold summer snack. They’ve just met, but I guess that doesn’t matter. That feeling that I had that this was probably going to suck couldn’t have been more true…
Ayato is the typical bad boy who’s, “to cool for school.” He’s the generic red headed bishounen male harem member you’ve seen in a million other harem anime and the obvious main male love interest. Because for some reason the red headed guy is always the main guy and is always a tsundere. He likes to call her pancake for her flat chest. Then, the anime, unfortunately, introduces us to the other five molesters of our story.
Reiji, the neat and clean Butler-like stereotype. Portrays a nice demeanor but is obviously going to be a cunt. Animes, especially harem ones like to throw in those tall, dark haired, deep-voiced, wide shouldered, serious-eyed, anime guys that for some reason love hurting the female protagonist. Besides the tsundere redhead stereotype, this is another stereotype I see in a lot of bishounen male characters.
Laito, the perverted always trying get into the main character’s pants stereotype. He constantly calls her “Bitch-chan”. You could make a drinking game outta how many times he called her that. Man, its so hard for me to hate him because his voice actor is Daisuke Hirakawa!! No, no… Gotta keeps my inner fangirl outta this! He voiced that main male “protagonist” dickhead in the anime School Days! Alright, I’m over it now. Speaking of drinking game, someone on YouTube actually made a Diabolik Lovers drinking game! They’re called Anime America I think. Go check that shit out, it’s amazing.Kanato….wtf is wrong with this dude? I’ve seen this stereotype before. The crazy sadist yandere. He even has the bags under his eyes! He made me wanna go hide in the corner and nope the fuck out of the anime. It’s hard to explain. I’m not recommending anyone to watch this anime but if you do, you need to watch Kanato to know what I’m talking about. He walks around with a teddy bear. Yeah, he’s one of THOSE kids.
But to be honest, he is the funniest character in this anime. Not that he’s trying to be funny, it just his irrational behavior. This dude obviously needs to take a damn nap and calm down since I’m assuming those dark patches under his eyes aren’t apart of some “crawling in my skin” phase he’s in. He’s…no. Just no.
Shuu, he lazy, and listens to music. That’s literally it. He doesn’t give a fuck about the main heroine, or anyone else for that matter! Out of all the characters, this one has me the most confused over why he’s in this anime. How can someone have a personality more blank slate than Yui’s?
(Had to look up this other character’s name cause I fucking forgot) Subaru is another tsundere. That’s it. He actually has a 1/3-decent part in the anime, where he gives Yui a knife that can kill vampires! But this idiot would rather get her neck chewed off instead like the dumb lama throated hoe she is, and you’ll see this in a second too.
Anyways, since this anime appreciates Yui so much, she gets to spend time with all of these lovely characters! Each episode dedicated to one of the boys! Isn’t that grand? By the way, if you thought at least one of these characters would be good or nice, forget it. There is nothing redeemable about any of these characters. Basically, as she is harassed by each of the male character’s, we learn that they all have a father who’s with three different baby mommas, and learn about their “tragic” past, but you don’t care. You don’t give a fuck about them. Tryna makes us feel all sentimental and shit like their irrational actions and behaviors are now justified. “Oh, he beat and raped me but it’s ok because his mother abused him as a child.” No, fuck this anime.
Also, this anime had the balls to give us a recap episode about 6 episodes in. Now, listen to this bullshit. Subaru the tsun gives Yui a knife that can KILL vampires and gives her a chance to escape. And what does this dumb bitch do? Not use the goddamn knife. Oh, and that chance she had to escape? She doesn’t take it. You know why? Cause she wants to “Learn her past” and “figure out the vampires.”
This girl is so dumb I almost feel like she deserves all this. She was given a chance to escape but never took it.I already figured out their nonexistent personalities in the first few seconds of their introduction, so what exactly are you trying to figure out? We all know what you really wanna do is hoe around and be an idiot. Making Bella Swan look semi-competent.
Jesus…anyways, let’s talk about the music in this anime. The only notable music in this anime is probably just the opening which I actually really love. To me, everything else sounds like some generic Japanese boy band music and are quite forgettable. Oh, and the voice acting? Smdh. The English version is terrible. How they managed to make Yui sound even more annoying is astounding. The guys don’t sound as bad, but they’re not that great either.
I could only stand watching the subbed version.When my friend and I watched the English version, the amount of physical cringe could’ve made me levitate. My friend also enjoys my imitation of Yui’s annoying pleading, “K-kanato Kun” voice.
So by the end of the anime, Yui’s body is taken over by one of the brother’s mother, Cordelia. Remember that knife? The one that for killing vampires? She uses it on herself and kills herself. That way she would kill Cordelia too. What a happy ending.
Jk no. That, unfortunately, didn’t happen. Yui claimed she wanted to, SAVE the vampires or something like that. AkA she craved having her neck chewed on. Why the fuck does she care about them?!
Then the brothers, unfortunately, save her and bring her back to life, where she proclaims “I’m thirsty” meaning she’s either turned into a vampire or is admitting to being a hoe.
But… it doesn’t even matter!! Since in the second season, she isn’t even a vampire!!! It isn’t even implied! So, you mean to tell me that, that final zinger at the end where everything goes dark…was her needing some damn juice? Just why?…
The only thing I really liked in this anime was the animation. Backgrounds look detailed and the characters are freaking beautiful! Although if they were any whiter I would’ve thought they were powder in clothes.
By the way, I love the clothing designs. The animators had to make it so Yui’s clothes were showing her shoulders for whatever other reason than for the boys to suck all over her upper body. Y’all aren’t slick.
Lastly, let talk about Diabolik Lovers as a whole. The existence of vampires in this anime isn’t logical. They CAN eat regular human food! Why do they need to suck blood? What? HUH?! They are shown multiple times eating food and having dinner together, so why are they drinking blood?
Also, things that make a vampire a vampire doesn’t exist with these characters! They aren’t affected by crosses, they aren’t affected by garlic, and the weird thing is, they’re not even dead. They were born from mothers. Not bitten later, but born AS vampires. This didn’t make any sense in Twilight, and still, won’t make sense wherever it’s used.
Vampires have no heartbeat. No heartbeat means no blood flow. Blood is essential to all parts outside and inside the body. So they can’t carry life. Why do they keep trying to sell us this bullshit that vampires can be born?
Also, If Yui wasn’t so boring, I might actually like her. Imagine having a pull string doll that says random things occasionally. That’s Yui. But it’s the brothers are truly the worst. They try to make us feel all sad by slapping sad backgrounds on them.
Cause that’ll make us feel bad for them right? No. No, it doesn’t. A sad background doesn’t make a character. A character makes his/her backgrounds meaningful. If they actually had personalities or showed something, ANYTHING, then I might feel bad for them. I read somewhere that someone said that Diabolik Lovers had a “deep” story. Ha, that’s a good one, you almost had me there haha.
They could’ve done something such as, since the brother’s mothers mistreated them, then they could’ve been searching for some sort of love and attention that their mothers never gave them, and take comfort in Yui. I know it sounds corny but its still better than the actual story!
Oh and, GIVE THEM PERSONALITIES! Instead of slapping on stereotypes we’ve seen in a million other harem anime and hoping they stick. Even Seduce Me the Otome had slight stereotypes in their male characters, but they were stereotypes done a lot better. Meaning you can make them with these personalities, just as long as you do them right.
And with that all said, Diabolik Lovers is scalding hot dog piss. Even if it is my guilty pleasure, that doesn’t mean I’ll let my inner fangirl get in the way of letting me seeing things for what they truly are. I don’t have a rating system or anything, so I’ll just say skip this anime, it sucks!
Thank you, soo much for reading! Please give friendly critique since this is my first ever review! So freaking happy XD!!!!
Thanks, and please leave a like!😙